I awoke at 3:30 am to catch a 6 am flight from Pittsburgh to Washington DC, so that I could catch an 8:30 am flight to Montreal for a business meeting. I knew I was in for a long day since I planned to take a night flight back to DC and then connect at 10:15 pm to Pittsburgh.
Everything went well to DC as I even had time for free food at the United Club before boarding flight to Montreal.
I’ve become somewhat involuntarily infamous for free food, a reputation I’ve earned as a result of not actually paying for food when I travel. I can be gone two weeks in China and never pay for food. It’s not that I’m cheap… it’s a business expense even if I did pay for food. It’s more of a matter of convenience… eating at the airline clubs… making a dinner out of free “happy hour hor d’oeuvres” at a hotel, or packing a few kashi bars. I never knew about my “free food” issue until a coworker (Nicole) kindly diagnosed the ailment during a trip to Vietnam in which she demanded we actually eat at a real restaurant! Now, I make sure I text Nicole pictures of the free food I enjoy around the world.
So… I arrived in Montreal and was picked up by an associate. We drove two hours to a meeting… had a quick bite. (again… he paid, so it was free food for me!) We then drove 2 hours back to the airport and I was dropped off at 4:30 for a 7 pm flight back to DC, where I would catch a 10:15 pm flight back to Pittsburgh.
Now, the downside of airline connections is obviously missing a connection. As I walked through the terminal in Montreal looking for free food, I noted a 10 minute flight delay on the monitor. No big deal, I had an hour and a half between flights so all was good.
A half hour later, the delay became a 40 minute delay. Now I grew just a bit concerned. I checked the inbound flight on my “FlightAware” phone app. It tells me where the plane is coming from and shows a real-time map view of where the plane is at that moment. I see that it hasn’t even left DC yet and was delayed as a result of weather in Toronto… the previous stop. I also see that it’s not due in Montreal for at least an hour and a half…. which puts me dangerously close to missing my Pittsburgh connection. (The iphone app provides information before the airline does.)
As a footnote, I intentionally booked through DC so that I could avoid Newark which is a “flight delay / cancelled flight” hell hole. DC, however, is far enough south that I’ve had near perfect experience in avoiding delays.
Now, as a matter of procedure, I checked later flights from DC…. there were none. I also checked alternate routing… there were none as well. So, hope became my only plan.
Meanwhile, I’m getting a bit “hangry” because there’s no free food to be found! I actual had to resort to paying for a meal!
As the original boarding time approached, the delay became longer until it was now delayed 1 hour 20 minutes, which leaves zero time to catch my connection since the doors of the aircraft close fifteen minutes prior to takeoff. I can only hope that either we fly faster or the connecting flight is delayed too.
Failure to make the connection means that I’ll have to stay in DC compliments of United. I would then be booked on an am flight to Pittsburgh… if there’s room on the flight. On the good side however, is the free food voucher that United will give me. (Gosh… maybe I do have a problem…)
Missing the flight also means that my day will be in turmoil… meetings missed, email hell… so I don’t want to miss the connection.
We finally boarded and I sat in seat 8C, on the aisle. The flight is now scheduled to touch down at 10:00 pm… the exact time the doors to the connecting flight will be closing. I checked the arrival gate and the departure gate and happily find that they are in the same terminal, although at opposite ends.
When we were about 15 minutes from landing, I summoned the flight attendant and asked that she help me make my connection by making an announcement for everyone who didn’t have a connection to remain seated so the rest of us could get off the damned plane ASAP. She laughed and told me that I had no shot but replied that she’s try nonetheless.
The plane touched down at 10:00 pm exactly and then taxi’d slowly to the gate. Naturally, there was no one at the gate to connect the exit ramp. Inside the aircraft, I’m checking the time, checking my app… nervously waiting for the aircraft door to open.
As soon as it opened, I ran down the stairs, across the rain soaked tarmac, up a set of stairs… through the gate to the terminal. I then ran down the long hallway from Gate D30 to D12.
Now, running through the terminal for me… at 60 years old, wasn’t exactly the same as running by the 26-year-old guy who passed me like I was standing still. When the old lady using a walker almost ran me over, I thought maybe I should get in shape!
I was sweating, running…past gate 18… 16… my heart was pounding and I looked down to see my left shoe was untied. I didn’t have time to stop and tie it so I just widened my legs as I ran so that I didn’t step on the flailing lace and trip. I didn’t have time to trip! To an observer, I may have looked like I was running for the bathroom.
Two more people passed me… I’m sweating, regretting all those Marlboro Lite’s that I’d sucked down my lungs in my younger days. I thought smoking the lite’s were healthier than the regulars!
I finally see the gate up ahead and that one of the people who that passed me turned in to the gate and hadn’t re-emerged, as he would have if the gate door was closed.
I sped up to nearly 4 miles an hour (slightly faster than a turtle) and turned the corner to find the door being closed… I yelled “Wait… one more.”
The gate agent painted a smile on her face and opened the door.
I’m wheezing and I thought…. “Thank God the doctor got dragged off the plane in Chicago a couple of weeks ago!” Now the entire airline industry is going overboard to accommodate every potentially pissed off customer. I certainly would not have been one because I respect physics and have always had an understanding with airlines, that, if I’m not there, they can leave without me!
I’ll just bet the gate agent thought I was face-booking the whole encounter live! Since my boarding pass was on my phone, I was running with my phone extended.
I hobbled down the gate to the aircraft and sat down in 9B. The guy sitting next to me said: “Hey, your shoe’s untied.”
I was breathing so heavy, I couldn’t even answer him!
If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s to pretend that I’m filming “face-book live” for any of life’s little distractions!
“My pizza’s not ready! What do you mean it’s not ready! I’m facebook-live buddy! You’ll never sell another pizza! This will be on the nightly news!”
Untamed Traveler 